Now that I’m officially single and “on the market” again, things have been weird. Have you ever been there? Thinking you have your life all figured out... until the floor collapses from underneath you? And there you are, falling, too stunned to figure out how you got yourself into this situation, let alone how you’ll get out of it.
Perhaps it's in these rock-bottom, falling-because-the -foundation-you-were-standing-on-gives-out moments… that we need to stop talking and listen.
You see, if working though my Fear Fighting manuscript has taught me anything (it’s actually taught me more things than I can count, but for our intents and purposes…), it's that fear is a lot louder than faith.
I mean, think about the biological, God-given stress response: it’s survival-oriented, alarm bells and adrenaline spikes and reactions that are so prominent, they can’t be ignored.
That’s why we get sea sick even though the waves aren’t choppy (our inner ear gets messed up and our brain thinks we’re poisoned thus, well… you know… occurs to get the poison out of our stomachs) and get all jittery at a near-miss car accident (even though we didn’t actually crash, we’re still tense and on high-alert).
It’s also why, in my opinion, our anxiety, unbelief, mistrust in God can run so rampant.
He’s created our bodies to have an alarming, unignorable fight-or-flight response to preserve our survival… but what about stuff that doesn’t truly threaten us?
Being single will not kill me, but at times, it sure feels like it could.
Spending Valentines Day alone doesn’t threaten my life or wellbeing, but the anxious alarms they’re screeching you’re alone and miserable and unworthy and no one will ever love you certainly make it sound so.
Friends, I know that I’m not the only one struggling with this particular area of life. I know some of you – my most loyal readers – are. But I also know that some of you are dealing with other stressors: aging and medical issues and financial strains and marriage problems and parenting crises and a bunch of other stuff that only God knows.
So my point is this: while the fear may be screaming at you, your brain signaling warnings and alarm bells every step of the way, remember that—besides literal life-or-death emergencies—you don’t need to listen to those alarms.
When God made us, He didn't want us to freak out over every little thing, to be terrified of Him or not believing in His loving Words. And really, that's what a lot of our anxieties stem from.
And it's hard, since fear screams and faith only whispers.
So while fear may be taunting me with all God hasn't done - God hasn’t given you a husband yet and He never will and you better hunt for one yourself or else you’ll be a lonely, worthless spinster who’ll amount to nothing…
I know the Truth.
Like a metronome, constant and steady underneath all the terror, faith is whispering all that He has done - God’s got it all under control. His plans are better than yours and when you stray from Him, it always ends badly. Your worth is not dependent on a spouse but on the Savior, and He says you amount to something… more than something. He says you are everything, His beloved masterpiece worth traveling to the pits of hell to save, love, and walk hand-in-hand with. You don't need a guy, you need God; and you have Him, forever and always.
Friends, we started with a question, so I want to end with one as well. Which voice are you listening to? One’s loud and obnoxious, the other still and small but more powerful than every other voice put together.
I know which one I want to put my trust in. Do you?
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